I believe in change

This is not a political post... But instead a reflection on humanity and what my role is as an educational leader in society--- and what leverage I have to make positive change on our world.

Ughh. Post election has been hard for so many. As an assistant principal of a school with a high population of immigrant families, we are affected, our students are affected. It hurts. It hurts in a way that I have never felt pain nor grief before.

I'm white. I sit in my own white guilt.  I'm privileged, I've grown up that way , but only recently have I become aware and learned to recognize my own white privilege.

So I sit here and reflect on what my role as an education leader is to improve humanity. How do we teach our children to be kind, teach our children right from wrong and teach our children to prioritize kindness and equity?

I'm grieving. I've lost faith in our humanity and our population. Our countries population decided that racism, bigotry, and hatred was more important than human rights. My beliefs and hope about kindness, love and acceptance have felt shattered. I believed that we were moving towards a country of unconditional acceptance and love-- I feel as though I was wrong. On a daily basis I believe I made an impact on our students in teaching them kindness.  Every day I reflect on how I can work to make our community, city, country and world a better place for not only Kora to grow up in, but ALL students of ALL backgrounds.

It's so easy to say this is not my burden-- I can blow it off-- I'm white. The system has worked and benefited me, my daughter and my family. But I'm choosing not to take that way out.
I'm choosing to use my whiteness & my privilege to make a change.

My local and immediate agent of change is the school. The school system at large.  But, I wonder why we must be constrained within our system that has proven over and over again to not be successful for all students. Why must all students conform to the white system that has been put into place. My goal and my vision is to build anew, create a system that works for all. So I continue to question myself on ways that I can use what I have to build and create a new system?

I'm grieving and will continue to grieve the difference of my perception of humanity and the reality of humanity-- I will continue to live in disbelief.  But, I will not continue to live in a world full of hate, bigotry, racism and un-acceptance.  I will work to be the change and will use the agent I have to make a better place-- Because I believe, I truly believe in a better world. For Kora and for all my children (all children of MPS). I believe we can make a change-- this change needs to be at a systemic level and at an individual level.

So I ask you today-- What are you doing to stand up for change?  A safety pin is not enough--
Be the change--
Change will not happen with out a coalition--
Join the coalition--
Be Brave--
Speak your truth--

Let us stand together for LOVE. Kindness.. and most importantly for ALL our children.

Having an Adult Relationship With Your Body

 “Adulting” is a term I hear thrown around a lot these days, and in a negative way. It’s hard to be an adult. One thing that I have noticed the most beside responsibilities changing as we become adults are the relationships we have. We have human relationships, and as human beings, if we do not grow and work to strengthen our adult relationships they fall apart, they resist, they go in different directions and at times can leave you feeling lost. I’ve experienced this with friends who we did not end up on the same path and it is truly heartbreaking.  

As I reflect on what it means to have a relationship with your body and your soul, I’ve had to dig quite deep to respond to this writing prompt. I look at Kora and how she’s discovering her body— she thinks it’s silly, she runs around naked and at times has even told me not to touch her foot because it’s “private” . 

I work hard to teach Kora how to respect her body, respect others limits, and be a healthy role model. 

—side note— how could anyone for one moment who is a woman, or who has a daughter, even think for a split second that electing Donald Trump is in her best interest. Let’s teach our daughters worth and not to brush off comments that are made about her or any other woman— This is not who we want as a leader of our country. ——— 

Growing up I was engrossed in dance 5 days a week, even to the extent of installing a barre (or having dad install one) in my room so I could practice. I started to have a love hate relationship with my body- there were a lot of ups and downs, but when I reflect on my middle years, one thing is for sure: I did not treat my body with respect nor did I care for it the way I should have. I recall eating crap food day in and day out and not understanding how much food affects the body. I took for granted the fact that I was active 5 days a week with dancing and didn’t realize what it meant to not be active.  

Later in High school and early years of college I smoked a lot of cigarettes and continued to not understand what having healthy relationship with your body means. I always wanted to ‘look better’ and truly never felt comfortable in my skin and my body— I didn’t want to work for it. 

Through early ears of college I realized I had horrible stomach issues, but never made the connection to my food & diet with my gut. 

It wasn’t until I became pregnant with Kora that I started to love the way I felt. I finally enjoyed looking in the mirror at myself, I started to read more about my own health and how to best support myself and my baby through my pregnancy.  After Kora was born it took me a whole year to start looking at my food choices and getting on track. 

I started to run (walk/run) it took me a long time, but all of a sudden I realized my body needed activity, and consistent activity, daily—I then started to take care of myself. Made healthier food choices and looked in the mirror in a positive way.  Our bodies are amazing and they can do so much, but learning to have a respectful relationship with them is hard. 

So I sit here at 31 years old, still pondering the idea of a healthy relationship with myself; with my mind, with my physical appearance and with my health. I’ve started down a path of clean eating, I’m not 100% but I can tell I feel better. I continue to have the internal struggle of working out and finding the energy. Since 2013 I’ve run 3 half marathons, and many other races and continue to work on my physical health, yet this is the hardest of all for me.  One thing I do know however is, if my relationship with my body is off balance, the rest of my world is off balance, it is necessary.   

My most recent addition to maintaining a healthy body & appearance has been starting to take care of my skin with R+F— Yes, Rodan and Fields is great! However, I have never taken care of my skin, so while this has to do with my appearance, deep down it is so much more. It is another step in furthering a deeper, stronger, and more confident sense of self. 

So, I ask you, what are you doing right now to improve your relationship with your body and with yourself? How have you strengthened your adult relationship with yourself?

Fall Is In the Air

Fall is my favorite seasonal change. The brisk air, wearing boots, sweaters and scarves, and being able to spend the whole day outside without being too cold or too hot.
Fall also means soups and more soups. Something I have become quite passionate about over the years has been cooking, I've found that soups rock my world.
Today I made this awesome butternut squash soup with balsamic caramelized onions and apples. Delicious! While I'm still not amazing at taking pictures of food-- I couldn't resist. I started this delicious soup with roasting the squash and onions, then I added coconut milk and broth. To finish it off, I pureed it into creamy goodness with my favorite kitchen toy-- the Breville Immersion Blender (thanks to dad).

I cook because I love to eat good food. However, cooking becomes so much more than that for me. It's a way to start a task and complete it, there are no rules, and I've become pretty good at it.  I also want to show Kora just how important it is to eat good food, and to make your own food. When I don't cook I realize something is missing in my life. I can spend hours in the kitchen making a good meal and not get bored. Cleaning up my mess on the other hand is a different story!   My hope is that cooking with Kora will be something that lasts through the years and builds on our relationship.  I remember cooking with my Dad a lot.  I have very fond memories of being in the kitchen with him and I hope this is something I can give to Kora as well.

Outside your comfort zone

Something I've come to realize is if I'm too comfortable I continue to seek things that push me outside my comfort zone. I truly believe this is where growth happens, personal and professional. I continue to seek out new things and new ways to reach goals.

A quick reminder: Last year, I was an intern all year with completing school on the side. I tend to stay busy.  Starting this year with only one thing to focus on, I started to feel lost--- And then I saw my friends Rebekah's post (I had been watching them for over a year, I've seen her growth and excitement) I decided to just try it.

With that being said, direct sales is hard! However, there is something about it that is so calming to me. I'm loving having something to focus on that is completely something I never thought I'd do.  The best part is, it's easy on my mind. I can work when I want, and I truly feel it's just for me. Yes, this is extremely selfish, I get this! But, I need it. I love setting goals for myself and hopefully meeting them. So with me saying how hard this is, does anyone want to help me? Any advice for me from the direct sales gurus-- I'm struggling with figuring this out but in no way am I giving up! I see what the business has done for friends of mine and am ready to get rolling! Again, all advice accepted:)

It's been years--- New life to the blog

So, as I sit in my car on my mini commute day in and day out... I reflect. I reflect in ways of sayings and funny memes for Facebook, in things to write in a journal, in phrases to tell Adam--but, I just don't seem to have any place to put my thoughts. With all of that being said, it is time for me to start a blog again.

I have things and thoughts going on in my life that I need to reflect outwardly on. However, I don't believe Facebook is always the way to do that. So with that being said, I'm working on committing to this blog as a place for me to reflect on parenting, education, life in general, and of course the newest adventure Rodan and Fields.


Adults-- Sometimes I wonder as adults why it can be so difficult to have empathy for one another, and at times I also wonder if empathy is really necessary.Is it that we have not been taught to have enough empathy for one another, or is it the flip side where we have not been taught to 'suck it up' deal with it, and move forward.

I wonder what it is about me that doesn't allow me to be empathetic about every single thing.. Is it that I wasn't born and raised in MN? (raised mostly yes:) is it that I assume everyone is resilient and can just 'handle it'--

Those are my reflections for tonight--- as I get back into the blogging, I promise it will improve. One of my biggest goals with the blog is to improve in my writing skills, so bear with me as I get in the groove once again.

Dear Costa Rica

The time has come for me to say goodbye. It seems bittersweet to leave as I am sad to leave my new friends, and so excited to be back in Minnesota continuing with my life as a teacher.  The goodbyes here have seemed to last a life time, as I have left part of my heart with all my new children at Jardin Central and with all the wonderful teachers and staff there.
Thank you for all the beaches; puerto viejo, carillo, punta uva, manzanillo, samara, manuel antonio, jaco, punta leona.  Thank you for the excitement of riverrafting in the tenorio river and sharing it with my mom, what an exciting time.  Thank you for the volcanos; Arenal and Irazu they were full of beauty, I was so happy I was able to share the experience of Arenal with Adam.  Thank you for reminding me that I do not like little dogs, and I love DJ, my big dog at home.  Thank you for showing me an experience of a different world of education and pushing me to realize it is not wrong just different. Thank you for all the teachers at Jardin Central who were oh so caring and welcoming every single day, even if at times I didn't understand a word they were saying. Thank you for all the Spanish, the new words, the naughty words, and of course the awful subjunctive that continues to haunt me in my sleep.  Thank you for the sun, so hot that it bite's your skin every time you walk into it and colors your skin red or a deep chocolate brown. Thank you for my Costa Rican Family, Flor, Rafa, Kathy even though it has been hard for me you have gone above and beyond in making me feel part of the family, you have shown me the way you live your everyday lives and accepted me into your own as your hija.  Thank you for reminding me I do not want a life that does not include my love, Adam.  It is time for me to go. Thank you for all the experiences, good, bad, difficult, and wonderful.  Thank you for teaching me Pura Vida.
Con Mucho Mucho Amor,
Pura Vida
Breanna

*Minnesota here I come*

Last Weekend

This has been my last weekend here in Tres Rios.  I was contemplating traveling, but decided to stay here to get some stuff done and ready to go for the big trip home on Thursday.  We had a three day weekend as there was no school on Friday.  I am starting to feel like I will be quite sad to leave all of my students this week as a lot of them seem to really love me!!!
My friend Carmen and I have been walking at a track everyday to keep busy, as well as running errands around Tres Rios.  Yesterday I paid my exit tax so I don't have to do it at the airport, I also found gifts for my co-operating teacher, and we saw a move, Horrible Bosses or in Spanish "Quiero matar mi jefe".  It was a pretty funny movie, it was nice to see something light hearted.  
This evening I am heading over to Carmen's home to help her make Sopa Azteca, it similar to tomato soup but with Chicken and cheese and tortilla chips, it's quite delicous but takes a couple hours to make. 
This week my computer died so I have no photos to share with you, and I have been slacking on the blog posts. 
I have finished the actual teaching part of my student teaching and start to re-observe for my last three days in the school starting tomorrow.  It feels pretty good to keep checking things off my list. 
I hope this finds you all well!
See you soon Minnesota :)