“Adulting” is a term I hear thrown around a lot these days, and in a negative way. It’s hard to be an adult. One thing that I have noticed the most beside responsibilities changing as we become adults are the relationships we have. We have human relationships, and as human beings, if we do not grow and work to strengthen our adult relationships they fall apart, they resist, they go in different directions and at times can leave you feeling lost. I’ve experienced this with friends who we did not end up on the same path and it is truly heartbreaking.
As I reflect on what it means to have a relationship with your body and your soul, I’ve had to dig quite deep to respond to this writing prompt. I look at Kora and how she’s discovering her body— she thinks it’s silly, she runs around naked and at times has even told me not to touch her foot because it’s “private” .
I work hard to teach Kora how to respect her body, respect others limits, and be a healthy role model.
—side note— how could anyone for one moment who is a woman, or who has a daughter, even think for a split second that electing Donald Trump is in her best interest. Let’s teach our daughters worth and not to brush off comments that are made about her or any other woman— This is not who we want as a leader of our country. ——— 
Growing up I was engrossed in dance 5 days a week, even to the extent of installing a barre (or having dad install one) in my room so I could practice. I started to have a love hate relationship with my body- there were a lot of ups and downs, but when I reflect on my middle years, one thing is for sure: I did not treat my body with respect nor did I care for it the way I should have. I recall eating crap food day in and day out and not understanding how much food affects the body. I took for granted the fact that I was active 5 days a week with dancing and didn’t realize what it meant to not be active.
Later in High school and early years of college I smoked a lot of cigarettes and continued to not understand what having healthy relationship with your body means. I always wanted to ‘look better’ and truly never felt comfortable in my skin and my body— I didn’t want to work for it.
Through early ears of college I realized I had horrible stomach issues, but never made the connection to my food & diet with my gut.
It wasn’t until I became pregnant with Kora that I started to love the way I felt. I finally enjoyed looking in the mirror at myself, I started to read more about my own health and how to best support myself and my baby through my pregnancy. After Kora was born it took me a whole year to start looking at my food choices and getting on track.
I started to run (walk/run) it took me a long time, but all of a sudden I realized my body needed activity, and consistent activity, daily—I then started to take care of myself. Made healthier food choices and looked in the mirror in a positive way. Our bodies are amazing and they can do so much, but learning to have a respectful relationship with them is hard.
So I sit here at 31 years old, still pondering the idea of a healthy relationship with myself; with my mind, with my physical appearance and with my health. I’ve started down a path of clean eating, I’m not 100% but I can tell I feel better. I continue to have the internal struggle of working out and finding the energy. Since 2013 I’ve run 3 half marathons, and many other races and continue to work on my physical health, yet this is the hardest of all for me. One thing I do know however is, if my relationship with my body is off balance, the rest of my world is off balance, it is necessary.
My most recent addition to maintaining a healthy body & appearance has been starting to take care of my skin with R+F— Yes, Rodan and Fields is great! However, I have never taken care of my skin, so while this has to do with my appearance, deep down it is so much more. It is another step in furthering a deeper, stronger, and more confident sense of self.
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